i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
