think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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