FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
