I puked a lego.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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