mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
