so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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