very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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