Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So vagazzling was a success
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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