woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
