Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
