They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
