Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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