Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
