We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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