I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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