There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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