her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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