Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Can Purell be used as lube?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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