I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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