Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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