He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
