in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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