i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
