Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
