Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
