Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
