I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
