Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ugly people sure do ruin things
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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