and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
