i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
