Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
