Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
