addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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