Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
