so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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