I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
