That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
