What did we do last night that was yellow?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I want to be your penis for a week.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize