Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
