Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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