Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
