Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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