I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We don't watch enough power rangers
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
