i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
