I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think your dad took our porno
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize