mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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