man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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