he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
