I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Randomize
