how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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