I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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