I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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