We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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