I just pynch a tree in the face
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
